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Mario Marsicano
Sly Stallone Pudding & 7 More Unique Celebrity Products
by Mario Marsicano

will_ferrell_sunscreen.jpgAre you planning to see the new Will Ferrell movie, Land of the Lost? The star has been promoting it for weeks, with appearances on everything from Conan to SNL. These promotional tactics are the norm, but recently I noticed Mr. Ferrell was trying a new way to increase his visibility. The star has launched Will Ferrell Sunscreen, a line of products including “Sun Stroke” and “Forbidden Fruit,” with 100% of the proceeds going to Cancer for College. While this celebrity product is clearly benefiting from the comedic effect of a semi-clad Will Ferrell on the package, many other celebrity products have been just as humorous. The question is, did they want to be?

1. Hulk Hogan’s Thunder Mixer

thunder-mixer.jpgOh, what might have been. In several interviews, Hulk Hogan has claimed that the George Foreman Grill was originally offered to him, but he didn’t respond in time. The manufacturer then called George Foreman, who chose to endorse the grill instead of a blender, which became the Hulk Hogan Thunder Mixer. On an episode of his show Hogan Knows Best, the Hulkster explained that whenever he thinks about investing in something big, he thinks about what happened with the grill and the shake-mixer. Evidently, the experience didn’t keep him from future product deals, as he has since endorsed The Hulk Hogan Ultimate Grill, a Hogan energy drink, and the microwaveable Hulkster Burger. Hogan antacids should be just around the corner.

2. Sylvester Stallone Pudding

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This may be my favorite – Rocky sold pudding! Now I realize it’s actually a high-protein snack for people who want to add protein to their diet, but I really don’t care. It’s still called Sylvester Stallone Pudding, and that’s funny. There are still sites that sell this product, but it’s listed as discontinued, which is too bad for Sly. But he does have a movie coming out next year, so hopefully he’s got one more comeback in him.

3. Jessica Simpson Luggage

So you’re telling me Jessica Simpson has baggage. Seriously, Jessica is putting together quite the collection of Simpson-branded products. The Jessica Simpson collection includes apparel, jewelry, and fragrances. And just this year, a line of luggage – including travel bags and business cases – was added. I don’t know how I feel about a Jessica Simpson business case. It might be a good place to keep your Hello Kitty cell phone, but I shouldn’t judge.

4. Cheech Hot Sauce

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Did you know there is actually an entire line of Cheech Foods? The line of Cheech hot sauces includes Smokin’ Chipotle, Gnarly Garlic, and Mojo Mango. You have to believe Mr. Marin welcomes the comedic overtones of a hot sauce endorsed by a famous stoner. And remember, the Cheech three pack makes a great holiday gift.

5. Danny DeVito’s Premium Limoncello

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Honestly, I didn’t even know what limoncello was. But I’m buying whatever Danny DeVito is selling. You may recall, Danny DeVito once appeared on The View in a somewhat inebriated state, and at the time he blamed it on too many limoncellos with George Clooney. So the fact that he’s now endorsing this lemon-flavored Italian liqueur leads me to believe one thing – he knows the product. Danny DeVito’s Limoncello is made from the zest of organic lemons, is best served ice-cold or on the rocks, and if possible, should always be enjoyed in the company of one or more Hollywood superstars.

6. Olympia Dukakis Greek Salad Dressing

There’s something funny about combining “award winning actress” with “Greek salad dressing.” It’s not like you can pick up a bottle of Larry Olivier’s Ranch Supreme at your local grocer. And I know what you’re thinking, but for some reason it just works better with Paul Newman than it does for Olympia Dukakis. The fact that I can’t find a site that sells the product leads me to believe consumers felt the same way.

7. William Shatner Ketchup

shatheinz.jpgI’m cheating a little on this one. William Shatner Ketchup was a one-time promotional product for “Heinz Pours It On For Charity,” an auction at Sotheby’s in New York sponsored by the Heinz Ketchup Celebrity Talking Labels campaign. At the event, four Swarovski-Jeweled Heinz Ketchup bottles were auctioned off, with proceeds going to local charities. Now you’ll have to excuse me, as typing “celebrity talking labels” and “jeweled ketchup bottles” has left me a little confused and groggy.

8. The Trump Home Collection

trump-steaks.jpgAnd finally, we come to the Donald. Mr. Trump is another celebrity who has lent his very valuable name to several products. You can sink your teeth into a Trump Steak, or even have a shot of Trump Vodka, which is surprising when you consider the Donald has never been a drinker. But for this list, I selected the Trump Home Collection. This very elegant line of home products includes everything from living room furniture to bedroom sets. But the specific product that caught my eye was Trump Floor Coverings. That’s right, in 2007, The Miresco Decorative Rug Company launched a line of Trump Rugs. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

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